CATHastrophic Mediocrity

June 12, 2009

Missing ‘Kare’

Filed under: Personals

I miss my ‘kare’.. Love him so much..

June 5, 2009

Blog Update

Filed under: Personals
Been gone for a long time. My blogs been suffering for abandonment lately.
Everyday, I’m into learning a new language. Have to suffer for 5months from "nasal menstruation". Hehe! Nakamoto Sensei and Honda Sensei was a real help in my Nihonggo. Lately, I am relieved that I’m starting to read Hiragana and Katakana characters fast, although sometimes I still fidget when someone converses with me in Nihonggo. And today, I just finished my one-on-one pronounciation and conversation practice with Honda Sensei. Whew! That was hard!!!
Anyway, I’m starting to learn to live by my own. Jedd and Kevin were the guys I am always with these past weeks. I remember our late night bloopers when we say "benkyoshimasho!!!" (Let’s study!) and still find ourselves sleeping in the next five minutes. Wahahaha.. I would prefer to study technical and theoretical stuff than to get my tongue stuck in a tongue-twisting torment. (How poetic!)
I miss my family back home, even my friends, and my hubby. But I guess, they could wait until I get what I really came for here in Cebu.
Gotta go now! Quiz coming!! Sneaking out!!!! 
Sayonara!!!

May 19, 2009

Leavin’…

Filed under: Personals
After fifteen years of enduring the pains and victories of student life, after all the melodramatic fights and petty arguments with peers, we all have come to the start of a new beginning. No! I have long recovered from all the post-graduation sentimentality. And I wouldn’t even want to talk of it now. A few days from now, I’ll be leaving Davao and I’ll be on my own fending for my own self - no more baby talks from my parents, no more ‘pangungulit’ from my barkada, no more ’sweet nothings’ from my hubby. I, MY and ME alone!!!!
 
After being accepted in the ACTION Training in AWS, Inc., I had to make a number of tough decisions - and I really say T-O-U-G-H!!! As my guy told me before "GROW UP!! Leave your comfort zone!", I don’t know if he really meant it! Hahahaha… He was also one of the people who helped me out with my decisions. Thank God I happened to be with the guy who best understands my needs. My family was also there who helped me out albeit I know that they were never used to be separated from their Baby Damulag! Hehehe..
 
A few days from now, I see myself taking only crackers and black coffee for breakfast, fast food lunch (I’m starting to hate fries!),  and ready-made dinner. I’ll be doing my own laundry. I’ll do my own budgeting aside from studying for my daily Nihonggo homeworks and tests (YIKES!!!). I’ll be the one to shop for my own grocery, and be a little bit more creative for my boring Saturdays and Sundays instead of dating with my hubby which is really really impossible!!!! I’m not used to being ALONE!!!!!
 
Life changes… So do people… I don’t know if this is worth the risk I take. Sometimes, I have to stand my ground for what I really need and for what I believe is right albeit I know that there will be people who will be hurting.
 
I’m leaving… signing out!!

April 17, 2009

The Sharp Turn

Filed under: Personals

  

Gone are the days of "Quiz na pud!", "1/4 ma’am?", and "Duol ng defense, nang!". We finally made it to the ramp as graduates, ready to jump from the planks to the stiff waters of reality. Some of us are still jobless.. (Some even texting "Patid-patid pa ko ug lata, nang!"). Some are on a vacation. ("Tambay pa mi sa esperanza..")Some are in their farms ("Dugay pko kbalik davao nang ke ting-ani run"). And some already have jobs waiting for them.

 We belong to a group of individuals with different facets. Some are rich enough to afford a life of luxury; some only have enough to fend for themselves. Some are goal-oriented with the end in mind; some live only by the moment. There are takers and givers, winners and losers of various sports, the tough but soft at heart. The thinkers, writers, poets, players, actors, singers and dancers. Despite the difference in principles we believe, our names all made it to the list of graduates.

 

 As I look back, i laughed and cried with these people. I made few friends and I made a lot of enemies too. It all goes back to zero as we take different paths. But as they say, memories live for those who knows how to remember.

 When I looked back to that day I stepped out of college, I will be on my own somewhere without these people I have known for a lot of years. I will be fending for myself without the presence of my family, of the barkada (I love being the muse. Thank you for making me feel special always), to my hubby Bern (who turned my vida amor to 180-degrees).

 I’ll be saying goodbye’s to many, and hello to my own self as I turn and walk the road I had chosen to take alone.

February 15, 2009

Operation 21

Filed under: Personals
I’ve always believed that couples need to be independent in their own decisions (and that they should respect each other’s priorities). But I’m starting to doubt if this is working in favor of me. And heck! I’m not enjoying that kind of principle, when you start getting left behind. Happy to know he’s heading to somewhere good, sad to know that there are things that need to be compromised.
And so maybe, things will work out just fine. The barkada are on their "Operation 21 Shots" for this stupid 21st birthday. And maybe, this birthday won’t be that stupid anyway, with them.. Long live me!!!
Arnold, Harold, Manoy, Mark, Noli, Greggo, Eufy, Peejay… See ya tonight…….emoticon

February 9, 2009

My Eleven Valentine Dates…

Filed under: Personals

My usual weekends begin at 8am, when I hurry my way to school to get things done with our thesis. Or maybe, meet up with the guys in the org (school paper, PSITS, COMELEC and stuff). Or maybe even luckier if it happened to be one of my guy’s free weekends that we can steal a few hours from our busy weekend routines. If i’m stuck with the thesis stuff, I’m just with my usual barkada.

I’m not a bit enthusiastic about the whole Valentine thing. I don’t even feel that my birthday is just a few days away. Not to mention the inevitable thesis defense, the coming elections, and the quiz bowl. Next week is a sure HELL for me. Why would I even care for a celebration?

And it simply took me out of balance when the whole barkada was so excited to celebrate my own birthday, that they wouldn’t mind coming at 10pm just to celebrate it at my place and celebrate it OVERNIGHT till my birthday. they don’t accept alibies. Hehehe.. My busy schedule is not anymore an issue to them. And they are putting much effort to celebrate it whether i like it or not.. I just love my guys, that they put much premium to me. maybe because I’m the only princess among a throng of ten guys.

They know I love small surprises and sentimental stuff. I wonder how they cope to understand this gurly side of me.. Hehehe

Of course, I still look forward to celebrating my birthday this Valentine night, not only with the barkada, but with my hubby. Missing him already..

I guess, this is it!!!

MY ELEVEN VALENTINE DATES!!

LOVE YOU………

January 31, 2009

?!In Hurry

Filed under: Personals

It’s very futile for me to try squeezing my brains out for something to say. It feels like I’ve been losing my usual self just because of pressure. The thesis is on its way to completion (hopefully in a matter of a week) after exploring new and strange technologies. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise when all of my other extra-curricular activities are moved two weeks from now. It did help! I’m working on beating the deadlines for the school paper this week. I think I do need a clone to get all of these things done. But God had been so good that I am still able to keep my sanity at bay. He’s good that I can still joke around and smile my way through all the stress.

I didn’t wonder anymore when I learned that one of us was diagnosed with anxiety depression, or the other having problems with his head(!!!???). It was all because of the pressure. I didn’t wonder that my bestfriend(BFF) and I had countless arguments about his girlfriend and my guy. I didn’t wonder when I screamed at his face for being such a meddler in my life(as though he knows my hubby enough to accuse him of infidelity against me). This was the week when we had the most number of fights since last August when he nagged me almost everyday for dating my guy instead of having lunch with him and the rest of the gang. I do understand that he had been trying to be a brother and a protective bestfriend to me, but sometimes he goes overboard. But I thank the Lord that we can mend things easy in the end of the day, as though no fight happened between us.

My guy and I haven’t seen each other for a month already. He had financial problems, and still adjusting in his new job. I am also having a hard time trying to manage all things that need to be done. maybe I aam lucky enough tohave someone who understands that we both have priorities of our own thast we can’t set aside.

Am I sick of obsessive-compulsive disorder? That’s what my psychology major friend told me. Hmm.. Maybe i’ve been too workaholic these past days.. Xiao..

January 10, 2009

Novice: Programming Nosebleed..

Filed under: School Stuff, Thesis, Rants

I haven’t had much problems with programming in college. As long as I am familiar with the paradigm and the syntax, the logic goes with it. But lately, I’ve been trying to learn a language I’m barely familiar with. I was on a hunt of someone who could possibly tutor me with this stuff, but I can’t find someone. I’m done with the basics. Duh! Someone out there! SOS!! Novice needs HELP!!

Questions:

  • How can I attach and record an audio (mic) over a netstream object? Can I possibly do it without a Flash Media Server since extraction of data is on the client-side?
  • After searching on forums, and attempts to do it on my own, I found out that SoundMixer.computeSpectrum() really does not work with Microphone.getMicrophone(). However, there were classes in AS3 that can extract and control the panning and amplitude of streamed audio. Is it possible to extract the same data from an audio input after being published and upon playing through a netstream object?
  • I’m really done with accessing the microphone object and rerouting it to other sound devices, as well as extracting amplitude and sound properties of streamed audio, and visualization of this activity. However, I am apparently stucked on how to make both of this things work together?
  • Flash CS4 to PHP : I am apparently trying to figure out how to pass values from Flash CS4 to server-side scripting language like PHP. Gone to a lot of tutorials really, and it doesn’t seem to work. Tried LoadVars() but it came with compatibility issues with AS3. Trying out another method (URLRequest.Method.POST|GET) doesn’t seem to work too…

December 30, 2008

Final Post 2008

Filed under: Personals

Starting off with 2008 was a hard stuff - trying to fix broken relationships, trying to appreciate myself even more, trying to survive financial setbacks and a whole lot more. And I didn’t quite notice that 2008 will soon be just a part of history - my history (I wouldn’t go as far as Greggo saying "During my Spanish Period…" Cheers to you ya!!). A few hours from now, the clock will be ticking a new start for all of us - the YEAR 2009 - Year of the Ox. And i think it wouldn’t be of any harm to make a list of my blessings in 2008.

  • The very core reason why I work hard is my family. And ever since I stepped into fifth grade elementary, I promised to myself that I’d work hard and smart. I wouldn’t mind ending up as the breadwinner - it’s the only way that I could finally repay them for standing up for me even though we suffer financial setbacks, even though I end up taking special exams, or if I only have five pesos for an allowance. I am proud to belong to a complete family, and I’ll always look back to them wherever opportunities take me to. I can remember people telling me that my parents don’t know how to raise children when I was younger and meek (God bless their souls), but given the chance to face them again, I’ll proudly tell them that I am my parents’ daughter.
  • Being a Christian was tough - when you are losing hope, or if you feel the whole world is on you. I had always believed in God’s Providence - the final refuge whenever I feel desperate. It is somewhat soothing to just sit quietly in a corner and think of him. Just picturing him out in my head, and thinking of the good things He had done for me is enough to give me a spark of hope. Whenever I feel like crying and there’s no one I can possibly turn to, He’s the one who best understands my silence.
  • (more…)

December 28, 2008

Protected: One Immaterial Gift I Need..

Filed under: Personals

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