Sacred Secrecy..
I’ve been tired of the same things. And I must admit, I don’t even know where I’m heading. I try to find the answers which to others may seem so obvious. But the answers they know are not at all the answers I need. I maybe speaking in metaphors. And no body would even care to read this the second time around - trying to decipher what I mean.
I am not at all at ease when everyone’s watching my move. I am not some celebrity that everybody should talk about. I want to keep my life private - far from the judgment of many. The freedom I want is not at all the freedom that I have.
Some may say I am a fool for some reason, or someone that is far beyond anyone’s grasp. I am not a laboratory rat that everyone should examine through a transparent glass case. I might be hurting some people because of my mistakes. And there are also truths that I should suppress. And I am a bit strangled by this kind of dilemma. That I have to be someone else I am not.
When should I say the truth, and be who I want myself to be when someone might get hurt of that truth? Yeah! The truth can set us free. Easily said than done. I am not at all me.
Maybe that’s the way life is. Everybody in secrecy - something held sacred, and very personal, oblivious to the world, oblivious to the people, even to those who mean so much to you. Everything has to keep secrecy as sacred - withheld from disclosure - to keep things in place, to avoid confusion, to protect. Truths unsaid, feelings unexpressed.
